In this article on self-talk from Psychology Today, they summarize self-talk as the conscious and unconscious inner monologue we have with ourselves. In simpler terms, self-talk means what the inner voice in your head says about yourself. Unfortunately, for many of us our self-talk tends to be less cheerful or supportive and more negative and self-defeating. We need to switch this, as we are actively bullying ourselves and the scars run deep.
NEED TO BELIEVE TO SUCCEED
With this information, we begin to understand why most people are not successful at maintaining lifestyle changes over time. It is hard to make lasting changes when at the core you believe you are not enough or that you will eventually fail.
FROM A CHILD’S PERSPECTIVE
The video below has a powerful message FROM kids to both adults and kids. This doesn’t just hold true for weight and body image either. Even as adults, we judge ourselves on our:
- financial successes,
- ability as parents,
- popularity – in real life and on social media,
- home making skills,
- title or position at work,
BEGIN WITH FORGIVENESS
Start by forgiving… yourself for your choices that aren’t making you happy or moving you closer to your dreams. Also, forgive the people who have hurt you along the way. The path forward requires letting go of the baggage you are dragging with you. Remembering that most judgement and negativity that others throw at you comes from their own insecurities and sadness may make forgiveness of their behavior easier. Then, recognize that your own insecurities are built on the backs of the words and messages the world has thrown at you. Again, those aren’t actually about you, but you internalized them. Society, especially social media, tells us we are supposed to look, feel, act a certain way – that often isn’t realistic or desirable.
ROLE MODEL THE BEHAVIORS YOU WANT TO TEACH
It is time for a new box of crayons and a chance to draw a new you. Do you want your children to draw themselves:
- surrounded by stuff they can’t afford,
- successful but all alone,
- haggard from spreading themselves too thin and giving every minute of themselves to others?
They are watching you and learning how to measure their worth from you… your words, your actions, your silent pain, the way you live a pretend life on social media that only shows the successful, pretty moments.
The video below is an excellent reminder of the self-talk that is going on inside people’s heads. As a mother with a teen and a tween, it is an excellent reminder for me to pay attention to their mental health and the messages I convey to them with my own behaviors and words.
Be kind to yourself. The goal should not be perfection, but rather finding a combination of work, play, exercise, rest. nutrition, reading, relaxing, and laughter that brings happiness and contentment to your life.